The past month has been rough. This wasn’t the post I was planning. But, as I started to write, I found myself journaling to God, “I quit.” If you find yourself in a place where life is tough, I pray that these words will encourage you.
Dear God,
I quit. I quit from this path that you’ve given me. This year has been challenging––sickness, illness, death, Alzheimer’s, work demands, rejection, parenting––Lord, I am overwhelmed. I’ve prayed for a breakthrough but haven’t seen it. Our family has endured, and we still have more to endure as some of these issues will continue for a while more.
I’m worn out from crying. I’ve eaten my feelings and gained fifteen pounds, ok … twenty pounds. I’ve put a smile on my face as I deal with the day and greet people to hide the pain that has passed like a tornado.
My husband and I have begged for a miracle, but so far, Lord, you’ve been silent. My mind doubts you exist when there is no answer. Yet, Lord, your word which has always been faithful and true, says we live by faith:
Faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen. Hebrews 11:1 CSB
Your word tells me by faith, Noah built an ark to deliver his family.
Your word tells me by faith, Sarah received the power to conceive a child.
Your word tells me by faith, Moses left Egypt and crossed the Red Sea as if it was dry land.
Your word also tells me that others continued to experience threats on their life, destitution, persecution, and mistreatment. Many wandered into the wilderness and hid in caves or holes in the ground. Yet … These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. Hebrews 11:37-40 CSB
Lord, I don’t want to be one of those who didn’t receive what was promised. I want to be like Noah, Abraham, Moses, Sarah, etc. who received a miracle. I don’t want to keep plodding on in faith or hoping that maybe one day things will change. I want the change now!
Yet, Lord, I also see those words at the very end of Hebrews: God had planned something better. And, despite my lack of understanding, I choose to trust this.
I choose to trust that you are for me and not against me.
I choose to hope that you have plans to prosper me.
And, I choose to be still and know that, despite the craziness of my life, you are God.
So, Lord, I revoke my words at the beginning of this letter. I will not quit because you are with me.
Yours, always,
Your daughter-in-Christ
A love letter from God …
Dear lovely one,
Don’t give up. I know life is hard right now. I not only see the tears that run down your face, but I gently wipe away every single one. I promise you that one day, you will no longer mourn, cry, or feel pain. Instead, I am making everything new because I am the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End.
Every prayer you’ve uttered, I’ve already answered. Sometimes, you’ll see my answer immediately. At other times, hope comes in the morning. And even when my answer is no, it’s still an answer which fulfills my will for you. Do not give up in your suffering because suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And your hope in me will never put you to shame.
I see you, my beloved; I love you.
And, I am with you always.
Love, God