It’s that time of year again when kids are heading to college, training camps, or starting out on their own. It was this situation
that inspired Not So Secret Love Letters’ first post. And, in honor of this, here are ten things I learned last year that may help you this year.
1. They’re his kids first. He loves them even more than you do.
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13 NIV
2. He’s already gone before them. Even if they don’t like their roommate or job or lab partner, he’s placed them with them for a reason.
The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8 CSB
3. They will find friends. God doesn’t intend them to do life alone. If they’re struggling, encourage them to join a club or two.
A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. Proverbs 27:9 The MSG
4. Every time you speak to your son or daughter, make sure to ask them what they need from you. Do they want you to listen? Or do they want advice on how to handle the situation?
To answer before listening—that is folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13 ESV
5. It’s a good idea to set expectations for the number of calls or face times per week.
Even before you call, I will answer. Isaiah 65:24 CSB
6. Have a code word for emergencies that your kid can text you. This guarantees you’ll pick up the phone when they call/text.
Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 123:8 NIV
7. Not every college experience is the time of their life. Normalizing new beginnings can be hard. Remind them God is with them.
And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20 NIV
8. If your child suddenly becomes like the prodigal son, not making the best choices, living their own way … your best course of action is to pray for them. Prayer changes everything! If you challenge them, be gentle with your words because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
9. There may be a time you feel so very far away as you navigate the next step of parenthood. Give yourself grace … this is a new season for you, too.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
10. Ask God what’s next for you. Our purpose doesn’t stop as our nest empties. He sees you, too. You are not alone.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV
A love letter from God …
Dear lovely one,
I know your feelings about letting your child go. I know you’re frightened about not being there when things go wrong. But you’ve done a good job. You’ve prepared your child and you’ve prayed for them. I want you to know I remember every prayer you’ve ever uttered on their behalf. Not a single one is wasted.
Tonight as they sleep, I will send my angels to watch over them. Then tomorrow as they face the day, I will whisper my wisdom and hold out my hand to guide them. You can rest easy knowing I’ve already gone before your child. I’ve made a way! It may not always be easy, but I will never leave or forsake them.
Lovely one, as you entrust them to the path of adulthood, don’t forget I still have plans for you. So, take some time, rest, and enjoy this season … for I am doing a new thing.
I see you, my beloved; I love you.
And I am with you always.
Love, God